1. |
Zeno
11:14
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seven times seven times I’ve come to this place
so many times I’ve touched your skin, I know I remember your face
but this time, I’m finding it harder, harder than before:
stumbling blocks in my way, I’m met with hate and disdain
can I find you with my sixth sense?
can I find you in the balance?
the world I’m born into hasn’t got the time for me
no one wants to bide or think but act and speak anyway
finding you home and farther afield
I seek you at night and day will not yield
the path is unsure but certain am I:
content to walk till the day I die
you flash in my eyes and those I see
but future still holds your return to me
but where is the future? it lies in the past
along with the questions that never were asked
all I have gained, all I have lost:
lay there together discarded and tossed
away from the sea, the rivers to find
just as a level finds its own kind
this time, I’ll make the choices that matter
I won’t wait until it’s too late
I’ll take my hands from my eyes
and change; make a change
the more I split
my path in half
the further I have to go.
when will I
put down my knife
and let my life be whole?
no matter how fractured,
my resolve remains.
no matter your distance,
I will see you,
feel you,
see you inside me.
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2. |
Limbics
09:43
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here we stand, you and I
seconds or centuries
instants or eternities.
we’ve always been fighting the same fight
or fought them all at once.
so many times, we’ve worn the floor with pacing.
our feet don’t reach the earth
our jaws ache from prevaricating
stiff from what’s left unsaid.
each word emerges in vain
sincerity turns to taunts
actions taken in response.
as we ricochet off one another’s armour
our feet don’t reach the earth
you've trespassed against us, so we will take you with us.
whence we came, it has no name, but you'll know it when you get there.
this place will eat you and excrete you and finish your age of disease;
the time for relearning has passed
resist while you can; it's your primal trait
your persistence will hasten your fate
the time for relearning has passed
this must end, or it will end me
thy will be done
all the time I've been grinding my teeth
in wait for the time when you draw near
can't prepare me for the way
your fucking face makes me feel
now you're in my sights;
all the rage comes flooding up and down my spine
I'm ready now to send you back where you belong
all the times you've spurned my love and burned my will
and left me broken on the ground,
I want to take all you've become and grind you down
it feels so good, right now, to have you here,
and to put you in your place,
but where am I left standing now; will I ever reach the ground?
we remain in the same place
all exertion digs us deeper, bruised and broken.
in spite of all we've done, we're locked in tighter
attempts at freedom become our very shackles.
how will we ever move?
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3. |
Ontogeny
11:16
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all my life, you've been waiting
watching behind silver skin
can you carve?
(can you carve out your way like a creature of will?)
can you carve your will upon the world?
only through me can you see what they see
ideals shield you from your deeds
so long as I've known
contained, encased
freedom taunts me
from my vantage impeccable,
an active world passes me by,
leaves me cold
only I display unalloyed reality
nascent death, life senescent
hormone free, justice disinterested
heed me; I am all you see
when you move, it's I who moves you
when I go, you go too, tied to me
so follow me if you want to be free;
don't presume autonomy.
don't you wait on independence;
it'll come on its own.
as I turn away from the mirror
I sense a force, a gravity pull
a folding of what was once flat
a merging of what was always apart
I'm stuck in this plane
stricken with apathy
give me the space; give me the time
I will achieve what you can only dream to see
if you will step aside,
set me free
what can you teach me about your will?
I'll never move like you
this silver layer is unforgiving
I push; it doesn't yield
separate we remain, perpetually
galaxies, planets, islands, atoms
attracted, repelled, colliding, commingling
dissolving and coagulating
all these scattered pieces
catch the light in their own way
perpetually falling in illuminating motion
enlivened by our dance
if they land or always fall
we don't concern ourselves
beginnings and endings have no place
in the eternity we call home
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4. |
Simultanagnosia
19:49
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I'm broken.
I'm lying in pieces
I'm put here by your lies
all you've done, lain me here, weary
I've come apart
these myriad pieces all resist completion
without a unifying force, torn apart, infinitely far
buffeted & torn by crosswind currents
exiled in a dark land without a compass or a map
lost and dizzy, I can't find my hands
faith in rumours, in a frantic grasp for solid ground
will you come and touch me?
go away.
stay far away inside me;
I can't bear to have you near
when will this end?
mercy, snuff my pathetic life
seeking extremes to find a centre inside,
overwhelmed with fear.
I reverse my gaze to find a path inside:
action's origin, original will
where resides the agent of my fate?
I find her traces, but I lost the trail
I take a step with hesitation;
grace will have to wait
I settle into clumsiness
and welcome the change, awkward as it is
as the world around me
passes by my eyes,
as you approach and recede in time,
I start to question...
why am I here asking this question
and why does the answer matter?
what will I get with its solution
and what is in a second?
where will my rest lie?
will it be before I die?
what’s the best way to
point my toes and fly?
what will they think when
they all see me?
does it matter if
I live or die?
I’ll never sleep if
I keep this up
tomorrow will be shot
each second full of
holes and hollow through
half awake at best
take a look around this temple
with even eye, examine it;
evaluate it:
what’s so precious that it deserves a place in view?
ancient broken iron lungs on life support, obstructing
with nothing to maintain it
this edifice of belief
is razed each stone by stone
and by the wind and sand blown
take a breath (you’ve waited for this)
take a step (outside at last)
turn around (look what you’ve abandoned)
open wide (your arms and eyes)
tears freeze as they fall
temples like yours in all shapes & size
design both robust & ornate
parents, children of the one you just burned
you miss it, & feel a drop from the sky
faces in windows, you scramble for cover
the sky is about to explode
with no one to help the fool in the rain,
fall to the ground in defeat
I’ve already been to the water
I’ve already gone to the sea
I’ve already stood beside you
you’ve already come to me.
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Before & Apace Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
BEFORE & APACE is a heavy progressive rock project of Saskatoon, Sk based musician, Devin
Martyniuk.
Drawing from the same well as Tool, The Mars Volta, Meshuggah, and Devin Townsend, B & A traverse fragility to brutality, sparsity to density, primitiveness to complexity.
On the 2021 debut, THE DENISOVAN, Dev was joined by Kaylon Disiewich (bass), Bryce Holcomb (vox/gtr), & Arlan Kopp (drums).
... more
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